Effective Listening—
The Five Fundamentals
Attending to Nonverbal Behaviors
Learn to be aware of the clues nonverbal behaviors provide you. Be sensitive to what your nonverbals say to others. Do your (or their) nonverbals say, “Go Ahead,” “Proceed with Caution,” or “Stop”? Watch the face, eyes, arms, hands, legs, body angle, and tone of voice.
Asking Questions
Questions should not be used to interrogate or control a conversation. They should be used to seek information, opinions, or ideas that will be helpful for understanding the person and making him or her feel heard. Use open-ended questions to encourage open communication, and use clarifying questions to check for understanding.
Reflecting Feelings
Reflecting feelings is the skill of capturing the speaker’s feelings and restating it in nonjudgmental terms back to the speaker. It is a way to demonstrate that you are aware of the emotion as well as the content of what is being said.
Paraphrasing
When you paraphrase, you state in the speaker’s own words what was said to demonstrate that you heard what the speaker was saying.
Summarizing
Summarizing is the skill of stating in capsule form what was said over a longer period of time. It is a long paraphrase. The exact words are not as important in a summary as the order and sequence of what was said.
